Senin, 25 Juli 2011

Rules Of The Game In Online Chinese Dating


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1 good factor about a 5-thousand year old culture is that there are rules. Quite a few of the males on the web based Chinese dating web site I belong to - and I'm assuming all of the women - already know the standard Chinese dating rules. But some of the guys may well not. I had no thought about what follows when I initially arrived in China from America. Instead I assumed that the dating scenarios of our two countries were roughly the identical. Boy was I wrong! Given how fundamental these rules are for the endeavor you are embarked upon, it is worth at least 1 write-up to make explicit some fundamental information and facts you need to have to know going in, considering that ignorance in this location not only wastes your time but puts you at a competitive disadvantage.

So here it is. When it comes to dating Chinese females, the very first (and some would argue the only) rule you have to have to be aware of is this: Chinese females are expected to marry just before exiting their late twenties. Just as there is no parallel in American culture to the obligation the Chinese child feels for taking care of the elderly parent, so there exists nothing remotely close in American dating and marriage culture to the pressure these Chinese ladies really feel with regard to not entering their thirties as unmarried. If you want to get some thought of the sort of stresses we are talking about, think about the forces that brought about the earthquake in Japan, and multiply it by ten. Few Chinese girls make it into their thirties unmarried, and those that do soon risk attaining Elephant-man kind status.

This married-by-thirty rule serves as a sort of Continental Divide, shaping the dating landscape on either side of it. The practical implications for dating Chinese women are that the women in their early twenties who are on the web page are far much less most likely to be seriously engaged in the process. It is with the mid-to-late twenties that marriage fever breaks out amongst Chinese females, and the site is replete with gorgeous Chinese girls in this age group looking for a life partner. The very good news is that by virtue of being on an international dating website, these ladies are at least open to the possibility of hooking up with foreign men. The bad news (at least for the commitment-phobic) is that by virtue of being Chinese ladies of a specific age, these women are dead serious about marriage (and the closer to 30, the more severe). Warning: Do not wade into this territory if you are seeking for a short-term, good-time relationship. These girls are going for the whole enchilada (or whatever the Chinese equivalent would be).

Just after reaching the magic (or, some would say, cursed) age of thirty, things alter radically for a Chinese woman. As one correspondent lately put it to me: "it's genuinely tricky for girls who are above 30 years old to uncover their Mr. Ideal, in particular for Chinese women, just like me. In some cases I feel dismal about this." This is also the age group in which the initial divorcees will start to make their appearance. Compared to the U.S. divorce is rare in China, but it is certainly on the rise, fueled by the tendency of Chinese men to acquire a mistress along with their very first pay raise. More often than not, divorcees in this age group will most likely have a young child at residence.

Girls over thirty and/or girls who are divorced (specially those with young kids) have an pretty much leper-like status in Chinese dating culture. The short-sightedness of Chinese males on this point is, yet, excellent news for Western members of this the Chinese dating site. It indicates there are a lot of girls who from a Western (or at least American) perspective seem desirable, even hot, given the phenomenon of the "cougar" i.e., the hot older ladies. These are stunning girls who have defied cultural expectations. They are looking for somebody who can really appreciate them.

So that is an overview of how factors stand. As they mentioned in one of the Indiana Jones movies, "Opt for wisely".

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